Reflections and Frustrations

It's the eighth week of the term. The stress is beginning to build. My worksample is due in two weeks. I have so much to do. Class today totally started stressing me out. I also started to think about my program and how it has affected me. I question whither I am taking enough from it. Have I done enough? Am I taking in the right things? Have I worked hard enough to understand the material? Do I feel prepared to be in the classroom on my own and the one in charge? Am I contributing enough in my cohort? I don't know that I am doing enough of anything . . . ?

One of my fellow peers today stated, "I get so caught up with what I could have done better at the end of the day, or what I didn't go well." It made me ponder, do I do enough? I'm I giving it my all. Some days I feel I do, but I don't think I do everyday. I have spent all of this time and money on school. Seven years by the time I am done. Have I gained enough to make it worth it? That I don't know. I feel that I have let myself down in some ways because I haven't given it my all or taken as much out of some of the courses or things we have done. That frustrates me though I only have myself to blame. I hope that I have the tools, skills, and recourses to be a good teacher, which I think I do. I hope I do. I guess I;ll find out next year as long as I have a job.

I think another factor is that everyone who has seen me work with students with disabilities and people I have worked with the past two years tell me I'm doing great and will be a great teacher. Has that affected how I look at things? Yes, of course it has. I'm sure their comments have boosted my confidence and maybe that is why I have not worked as hard as some others because I felt more confident in what I was doing. Ugh. Hope that doesn't bite me in the butt. I hope they are right.

November . . . already?

I can't believe it's November already. I guess it's time for an update. My endo is doing much much better. I talked to my doc and we decided to change my birth control and keep me on the continuous so I don't have a cycle anymore. I was concerned about creating more buildup but he reassured me that it shouldn't cause that much difficulty. I guess I'll find out in a year if it does. But so far so good. In fact I think the new pill is helping my nails grow! They are getting a lot longer now and I can't remember the last time they were this long.

As for teaching, I start full time this week, though that's not til Thursday because tomorrow is a work day, Tuesday is Veterans Day so no school, and Wednesday I have to go to classes. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I am really only taking on one more thing - reading. It will b a challenge I think just because I have not been consumed with reading since last year when I had the lit class. Plus there is so much they think you can fit into 40 minutes. Thank goodness there is a curriculum though. Last week I registered for the last of my teaching tests. I only spent a little over $250. That's all. That includes the ORELA, SpEd Praxis, and the last part of the CBEST I need to pass. Dumb test. Ugh . . . teaching is an expensive profession, even before the career.

Steph and I still like our place. It feels more and more like home. I still haven't quite put up all my pictures and things. I don't have as much room for them in this house as the other one, but I'll find places for them or just downsize.

Oh, one last thing, a few weekends ago I baought my plain tickets to go to Vegas to see the Humes'! I'll be there for New Years and Jack's 1st birthday! I am way way way excited!

That's all of the exciting or eventful things going on in my life as for now.

Stomach Setback

The last week has brought some realization of disappointment. My endo is giving me more problems yet again. I'm not sure if it is because I am no longer on the continuous pill, thus no cycle, or it is just acting up so soon after having surgery. The first few months after surgery were good, but slowly the last few months I have had increasingly more pain. It's to the extent that I didn't go to school today (student teaching). Luckily I have class tomorrow so I won't have to move around much and can sit and curl up if needed. I did call my guyno today. They can't get me in for a month so they had me leave a message with his assistant to see what can be done or if they can squeez me in sooner. Ugh, it's just frustrating and disapointing. I hope it doesn't come down to me seriously considering a historectomy within the next year. I would like to have kids or at least try to have kids of my own. I'm ok with adopting, but I would still like to have the oppertunity to try.

To end on a happy note, eventhough I was in a large amount of pain yesterdayI had a really good day with my kiddos and our student who tends to have difficult days had a really good day yesterday. Sine he was doing so well we selected him to be our Star of the Week and he was so pleased, prould, and excited. It was so cute.

Olive Garden

Tonight we went to dinner with Steph's parents at Olive Garden. Of course it was very yummy, but also entertaining. Our waitress found Stpeh's dad funny (which he is) as he was making fun of us while she took our orders. Then we had a waiter while our waitress went on break. He was humorous too. Our waitress came back as we were finishing. Steph's dad made a few more jokes/funny comments and then Steph's mom said something about taking the cheese shreader home. The waitress was like, oh maybe send ya home with one. Then Steph's dad said she should throw in some chees too. We all laughted, but didn't tink she was serious. Well, when she brought us our take home boxes she brought a bad and there was a cheese shreader in there with some cheese! When she came back for the check we told her we were just kidding and didn't want her to get in trouble, but she said no go ahead cuz as long as you don't tell they'll never notice. So Steph and I now have an Olive Garden cheese shreader. I think it's kinda humourous.

Steph and I alos went to IKEA today. I love IKEA! I got my desk, a chalk/magnet board that has spots for the mail and hooks for keys, coat hangers, and a paper towel holder. It was a great day at IKEA. Oh and we also got breakfast for $0.99 and free coffee!

Dumb Foot

So yesterday after school I noticed my ankle was hurting a little. It had been a long day, but I still had things to do before the open house. I kept moving, ignored the ankle, the open house went well, but once I got home I realized it was really hurting and I could barely stand walking on it. I don't remember doing anything to my ankle or twisting off my shoe. Yet it hurts. It's dumb. I do have weak ankles, but I haven't had a lot of problems other than soreness for quite a few years.

Ugh, I'm just frustrated. It's better today, but still hurts and the more I use it the more it hurts. And of course this weekend is when we are moving. If my ankle is still as bad, than I won't be able to help much though that would be kind of nice but I will feel guilty for not being able to help much.

We are really excited to move. Steph and I both hate the moving process, but we like being able to set up and re-organize. We're hoping and crossing our fingers that it doesn't rain on Saturday. The news says it's supposed to start raining on Sunday, so cross your fingers!

I'm an onld fart

I am officially an old fart, according to Stephanie's cousin. Tuesday I turned 25 years old. I'm a quarter of a century old. I feel old, but at the same time I don't fee like I should be that old. I did celebrate my birthday last weekend with a good number of friends. I went to dinner with a few friends, bowling with a few more, and then went and played some pool at a pub with a few of them. I sucked at bowling, and I wasn't much better at pool. The pub we went to was a pretty low key place off of Hawthorn with pool tables and McMenamin's food. All in all it was a good night. Friends came and went and I had a good time with everyone.

In other news I am back in school - teaching that is. I don't officially have to be there until the 22nd but I wanted to see the beginning of the school year. I will be starting a new blog focusing on teaching. For now I will say that I am enjoying my 1st graders.

For those of you who know about my mom's situation, she got a 12 week sub job at Head Start. I haven't talked to her since Tuesday, but she was pretty tired. I think she will enjoy it though, it's just a change in child size and demand. She definitely misses her students though and the fill in teacher keeps calling her to either ask questions about students or to find out where something is. Often the things the paraeducators are looking for and say it belonged to a student or the classroom, it really belongs to my mom so it is no longer there. She is also taking three of the autistic students who she used to work with.

Ok, that's it for now. Enjoy the weekend!

The G5 Rocks My Socks

Guess what I purchased myself today for my upcoming birthday? Hint hint . . . look at the title of this blog. Got it yet? The G5! George Foreman 5th generation. It has removable plates so you can grill, griddle, bake, make omelets, and make waffles. I used it tonight to make waffles and they were sure yummy. I wasn't planning on buying the G5 today, but when we saw a BBQ on sale for only $70 I decided (with the help of Stephanie) that the G5 was more practical for me. Plus it does tons more than a BBQ could do.

In other news, we got the townhouse! They called tonight before closing and said our applications passed. So we are going in tomorrow morning to put down our deposit. It is smaller, but we knew we would have to make some sacrifices if we wanted to pay less rent. We are also losing a bathroom, but gaining a garage. We are excited. Our lease isn't up till the end of September so we we are going to move mid month next month so we have time to mass clean our current apartment. The new place is even closer to the max line and also a lot of buses and downtwon. I'll post pictures soon.