Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Reflections and Frustrations

It's the eighth week of the term. The stress is beginning to build. My worksample is due in two weeks. I have so much to do. Class today totally started stressing me out. I also started to think about my program and how it has affected me. I question whither I am taking enough from it. Have I done enough? Am I taking in the right things? Have I worked hard enough to understand the material? Do I feel prepared to be in the classroom on my own and the one in charge? Am I contributing enough in my cohort? I don't know that I am doing enough of anything . . . ?

One of my fellow peers today stated, "I get so caught up with what I could have done better at the end of the day, or what I didn't go well." It made me ponder, do I do enough? I'm I giving it my all. Some days I feel I do, but I don't think I do everyday. I have spent all of this time and money on school. Seven years by the time I am done. Have I gained enough to make it worth it? That I don't know. I feel that I have let myself down in some ways because I haven't given it my all or taken as much out of some of the courses or things we have done. That frustrates me though I only have myself to blame. I hope that I have the tools, skills, and recourses to be a good teacher, which I think I do. I hope I do. I guess I;ll find out next year as long as I have a job.

I think another factor is that everyone who has seen me work with students with disabilities and people I have worked with the past two years tell me I'm doing great and will be a great teacher. Has that affected how I look at things? Yes, of course it has. I'm sure their comments have boosted my confidence and maybe that is why I have not worked as hard as some others because I felt more confident in what I was doing. Ugh. Hope that doesn't bite me in the butt. I hope they are right.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

November . . . already?

I can't believe it's November already. I guess it's time for an update. My endo is doing much much better. I talked to my doc and we decided to change my birth control and keep me on the continuous so I don't have a cycle anymore. I was concerned about creating more buildup but he reassured me that it shouldn't cause that much difficulty. I guess I'll find out in a year if it does. But so far so good. In fact I think the new pill is helping my nails grow! They are getting a lot longer now and I can't remember the last time they were this long.

As for teaching, I start full time this week, though that's not til Thursday because tomorrow is a work day, Tuesday is Veterans Day so no school, and Wednesday I have to go to classes. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I am really only taking on one more thing - reading. It will b a challenge I think just because I have not been consumed with reading since last year when I had the lit class. Plus there is so much they think you can fit into 40 minutes. Thank goodness there is a curriculum though. Last week I registered for the last of my teaching tests. I only spent a little over $250. That's all. That includes the ORELA, SpEd Praxis, and the last part of the CBEST I need to pass. Dumb test. Ugh . . . teaching is an expensive profession, even before the career.

Steph and I still like our place. It feels more and more like home. I still haven't quite put up all my pictures and things. I don't have as much room for them in this house as the other one, but I'll find places for them or just downsize.

Oh, one last thing, a few weekends ago I baought my plain tickets to go to Vegas to see the Humes'! I'll be there for New Years and Jack's 1st birthday! I am way way way excited!

That's all of the exciting or eventful things going on in my life as for now.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Stomach Setback

The last week has brought some realization of disappointment. My endo is giving me more problems yet again. I'm not sure if it is because I am no longer on the continuous pill, thus no cycle, or it is just acting up so soon after having surgery. The first few months after surgery were good, but slowly the last few months I have had increasingly more pain. It's to the extent that I didn't go to school today (student teaching). Luckily I have class tomorrow so I won't have to move around much and can sit and curl up if needed. I did call my guyno today. They can't get me in for a month so they had me leave a message with his assistant to see what can be done or if they can squeez me in sooner. Ugh, it's just frustrating and disapointing. I hope it doesn't come down to me seriously considering a historectomy within the next year. I would like to have kids or at least try to have kids of my own. I'm ok with adopting, but I would still like to have the oppertunity to try.

To end on a happy note, eventhough I was in a large amount of pain yesterdayI had a really good day with my kiddos and our student who tends to have difficult days had a really good day yesterday. Sine he was doing so well we selected him to be our Star of the Week and he was so pleased, prould, and excited. It was so cute.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Olive Garden

Tonight we went to dinner with Steph's parents at Olive Garden. Of course it was very yummy, but also entertaining. Our waitress found Stpeh's dad funny (which he is) as he was making fun of us while she took our orders. Then we had a waiter while our waitress went on break. He was humorous too. Our waitress came back as we were finishing. Steph's dad made a few more jokes/funny comments and then Steph's mom said something about taking the cheese shreader home. The waitress was like, oh maybe send ya home with one. Then Steph's dad said she should throw in some chees too. We all laughted, but didn't tink she was serious. Well, when she brought us our take home boxes she brought a bad and there was a cheese shreader in there with some cheese! When she came back for the check we told her we were just kidding and didn't want her to get in trouble, but she said no go ahead cuz as long as you don't tell they'll never notice. So Steph and I now have an Olive Garden cheese shreader. I think it's kinda humourous.

Steph and I alos went to IKEA today. I love IKEA! I got my desk, a chalk/magnet board that has spots for the mail and hooks for keys, coat hangers, and a paper towel holder. It was a great day at IKEA. Oh and we also got breakfast for $0.99 and free coffee!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dumb Foot

So yesterday after school I noticed my ankle was hurting a little. It had been a long day, but I still had things to do before the open house. I kept moving, ignored the ankle, the open house went well, but once I got home I realized it was really hurting and I could barely stand walking on it. I don't remember doing anything to my ankle or twisting off my shoe. Yet it hurts. It's dumb. I do have weak ankles, but I haven't had a lot of problems other than soreness for quite a few years.

Ugh, I'm just frustrated. It's better today, but still hurts and the more I use it the more it hurts. And of course this weekend is when we are moving. If my ankle is still as bad, than I won't be able to help much though that would be kind of nice but I will feel guilty for not being able to help much.

We are really excited to move. Steph and I both hate the moving process, but we like being able to set up and re-organize. We're hoping and crossing our fingers that it doesn't rain on Saturday. The news says it's supposed to start raining on Sunday, so cross your fingers!

Friday, September 12, 2008

I'm an onld fart

I am officially an old fart, according to Stephanie's cousin. Tuesday I turned 25 years old. I'm a quarter of a century old. I feel old, but at the same time I don't fee like I should be that old. I did celebrate my birthday last weekend with a good number of friends. I went to dinner with a few friends, bowling with a few more, and then went and played some pool at a pub with a few of them. I sucked at bowling, and I wasn't much better at pool. The pub we went to was a pretty low key place off of Hawthorn with pool tables and McMenamin's food. All in all it was a good night. Friends came and went and I had a good time with everyone.

In other news I am back in school - teaching that is. I don't officially have to be there until the 22nd but I wanted to see the beginning of the school year. I will be starting a new blog focusing on teaching. For now I will say that I am enjoying my 1st graders.

For those of you who know about my mom's situation, she got a 12 week sub job at Head Start. I haven't talked to her since Tuesday, but she was pretty tired. I think she will enjoy it though, it's just a change in child size and demand. She definitely misses her students though and the fill in teacher keeps calling her to either ask questions about students or to find out where something is. Often the things the paraeducators are looking for and say it belonged to a student or the classroom, it really belongs to my mom so it is no longer there. She is also taking three of the autistic students who she used to work with.

Ok, that's it for now. Enjoy the weekend!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The G5 Rocks My Socks

Guess what I purchased myself today for my upcoming birthday? Hint hint . . . look at the title of this blog. Got it yet? The G5! George Foreman 5th generation. It has removable plates so you can grill, griddle, bake, make omelets, and make waffles. I used it tonight to make waffles and they were sure yummy. I wasn't planning on buying the G5 today, but when we saw a BBQ on sale for only $70 I decided (with the help of Stephanie) that the G5 was more practical for me. Plus it does tons more than a BBQ could do.

In other news, we got the townhouse! They called tonight before closing and said our applications passed. So we are going in tomorrow morning to put down our deposit. It is smaller, but we knew we would have to make some sacrifices if we wanted to pay less rent. We are also losing a bathroom, but gaining a garage. We are excited. Our lease isn't up till the end of September so we we are going to move mid month next month so we have time to mass clean our current apartment. The new place is even closer to the max line and also a lot of buses and downtwon. I'll post pictures soon.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Oh My it's HOT!

It is so freakishly hot today! I don't know what the high was, but right now it's 80 degrees at midnight. That's ridiculous! I thought I lived in the pacific northwest where it cools off at night. Steph and I spent the evening at a friends house watching a movie and the Olympics so we just got home. We walked into a swealtery apartment and are now sitting out on our deck. We're even contemplating sleeping out here because it's so hot inside. I could easily sleep on my sleeping bag because it still hasn't been cleaned from camping. To avoid the heat today we also went to the mall. I bought some Danskos, which I am way way way excited about. Then we went to the movies this afternoon, but ended up in a theater which the heat went out in. The rest of the cinemas had working ac but not our little theater. We did get free show tickets though and it was still cooler in there than outside.

So I need to back track a little bit and update you all on my Vegas trip. I returned a week ago, but it seems like I haven't seen Jack, Mc or Chris for at least a month or more. It's hard adjusting when you spend day after day with the same people. I am definitely glad I have Steph though because I think I would go crazy coming home to just myself. Oh, so Vegas. We took a few days to get down there. The drive is 18 hours, but we did it in mostly 2 days though really 3 because we stayed at Mc's parents who are only 2 hours away from Vegas. We went up through Idaho, through Utah, and then down to Nevada so we could stop and see my mom and Mc's dad. My grandma and uncle even got to meet Jack, Chris, and McCall too because my mom was staying at my grandma's because she had an appointment the next day in Boise. I am glad we were able to stop so I could see my mom and grandma. Since we are most likely moving I am probably not going to go home this summer, plus I have my trip up to Montana and then school starts when I get back.

Ok, off topic again. I had a few days in Vegas. It was a good ol' relaxing hang out time. I helped McCall do a few things while she had a free set of hands there because Chris had to go to Austin the day after we got there to go finish off his old job stuff. I had a great time there, but a very difficult time leaving. McCall was smart in leaving Jack with her sister while she took me to the airport. I think he kinda knew something was up because he had been cranky most of the afternoon. I was amazed at how strong I was in leaving him. Mc didn't have to pull him away from me, though I did not want to put that boy down. I held myself from crying until we went out the door. In fact just thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes. Then I had a harder time leaving McCall, thus a few more tears. She told me to take the standby option if someone wanted on my flight but to tell them I couldn't leave until the next Friday. I was so hopping for that, but there were no standby's. The real tears came at take off. I'm sure the people around me thought I was weird crying because we were leaving Vegas. They didn't know I was crying because of the people I was leaving behind. I don't think I'll be able to wait a year before I see them again. In fact I KNOW I won't be able to wait a year. We'll see how long I can last.

Oh, I have to add in, McCall's sister called me a saint because she has no idea how I am so patient when Jack is fussy. The second he gets fussy Brittany passes him off and when he's happy she says "gimmie".

Friday, August 8, 2008

SWEP Wrapup

Ah, SWEP is officially over and has been over for 2 weeks. The last week went by fast. We had the talent show on Monday, which was weird. The talent show has always been on the last Friday which is also the all night party and the commissioners meeting. It's normally the most hectic day of the summer, but since we had the talent show early it went quite smoothly. Why was it on Monday you ask? Well, from now on it will be to make our (staff) lives easier, but this year it was because all of the out of town counselors were in town for a meeting or something.

Again, the last week went by fast. Monday was the talent show and BBQ. Of course the highlight of the evening was Chris's poem, but the Humes family singers and my awards were the next top on the list. There were about two other acts that were decent and then the rest were agonizing. At one point Mc and I were covering our mouths and avoiding eye contact with each other to keep us from laughing at the talent we were exposing our guests to. On Wednesday half of the group went roller skating and the other went to the movies. It was fun watching blind kids skate. Don't worry, we didn't let them skate alone, but I have to say they were voting for it. I can just imagine the kiddos out there skating with their canes going as fast as possible. Sure sign of a traffic accident.

The last few days we went to the woodshop, well the kids went to the woodshop while the staff went to Starbucks. And no, we did not leave them there alone, but the guy who runs the woodshop is blind. It's pretty cool actually that a blind guy teaches other blind people how to use tools that could slice your hands off. Don't worry, he's a really good craftsman and is well trusted by the commission. Next, Friday we had a concert in the campus amphitheater. The group is called Land of the Blind, and they are not consisted of blind individuals although that is a proper assumption because that is what the staff thought. We thought we were going to hear a "band" with blind members. But no, it was a, at least what we came up to describe them as, a hippy worldsy group. The cool thing about them was they gave us digery do lessons. They were nice people too.

The all night party went well. As usual, we made a starbucks run. We got there right before they closed and boy were they pleased to see 2 large vans pull up with a bunch of teenagers. Then we went to the coolest doughnut shop called Voodoo Doughnuts. They have maple doughnuts with bacon on them! Don't dis until you try um because I thought they would be weird, but oh my are they good. I only had a bite of the maple bacon because I had one called no name with peanut butter, chocolate, and rice crispys on it. Oh it was yummy! The rest of the night the kids just hung out and packed. Some of them decided to put shaving cream on one of the kids who was sleeping and then in the morning he splattered whip cream at them. Fortunately I was asleep, but I heard all about the big to do when I woke up. There was some screaming and shouting that occurred, but things got smoothed out and everyone survived.

It was sad for SWEP to end, but boy was I ready. Chrs, Mc, and I ended up being there until 4:30pm on Saturday. Ugh it was a long day on only 3 hours of sleep. After we locked up shop we found a hotel, Chris took Jack to stay with a friend of theirs in Salem, and Mc and I took much needed naps. The night was filled with relaxing, alcohol, and some good times. Then on Sunday we went and picked up Jack, had some Whites, and headed on our way to Vegas.

There's more to come . . . . just wait a day or two until I have a free chance to write. I originally started this blog almost a week ago. Opps.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Nice Clevage

I know. It's been awhile. This blog is more for the humor of last night rather than an update on SWEP. Though if you are looking for that it will be in the next section. So, last night we (Mc, Chris, and I) went up the street for a few drinks. Chris had gone in to get us more drinks and this guy walked by with his arms in the air. McCall said, "whoohoo" and then to me he goes "nice cleavage. muy buneo (very good)". I couldn't stop laughing/smiling to be able to give a response. I was a tad caught off guard.

Continuing onto the update of SWEP. It's coming to an end. In fact I can see the ending. Eight more days. Again, 8 more days. I don't know whether I'm sad or happy. I think there is a mixture of both. Happy to see the kids go, but sad because I won't see Jack, Mc and Chris much more. Along with the end of SWEP is a sign of the end of my summer. I am going to get to spend some extra time with the Humes family because I offered to drive down with them to Vegas so they'd have a third set of hands and a third person to rotate for Jack duty. I don't mind because then I have a few more days, but that flight home is going to be sad. At least I'll have lots to keep me busy when I get home. We are going to be moving in September so I "have" a goal of going through all my crap before we move. When I moved last I realized all the crap I had and said that I was never going to move with it all again. We'll see how that goes.

The kiddos are doing well. I think most of them are a little sad SWEP is about to end. We went to the coast for deep sea fishing last weekend and they all loved it. It's probably the best event of the summer because all of the dory boat families fry up all the fish and put a potluck together for us. It is the bomb! Best clam chowder I've ever had! Yum. The kids caught a lot this year too. The fisherman didn't think the kids were going to catch a whole lot because Friday they barely caught any. There was one student who didn't catch anything, but the most caught was seven.

Then yesterday we went bowling. We originally were supposed to go to a audio described movie, but the only movie playing after the kids got off work that was described was rated R and not all of the kids have permission to see rated R movies. Plus it was one staff didn't care to go to. So we polled and went bowling instead. They were all so excited. It was weird. A good time though. I even broke 100, barely though (102).

Tomorrow we are doing our rafting trip. Most of the kiddos are excited about it. It's kind of a lame white water rafting trip, but a decent rafting trip. They have us scheduled to be on the water from 10am - 5pm. It's a little lengthy, but hopefully it will be fun. The place we used to raft is really white water rafting, which is why I suggested to my boss that we alternate where we raft. I mostly did that so I won't get bored with it. My roommie is coming so that will help tomorrow.

Alrighty, I think that is all of the updates for now. Maybe I'll go play some Guitar Hero, which I'm getting pretty decent at for only playing for two weeks. I can play decently on medium. Tia's not too shabby.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

The 4th of July

As most of you know, every year SWEP spends the 4th of July at Oaks Park. It's fun for the kids and a really long day for all involved. Yesterday went really well except for the last par of the day. We spent the day BBQing, munching, hanging out, and riding rides. Jack enjoyed the day as well. He loves being outside. My sister Kathi and her boyfriend Luke also joined us mid day through. Mc, Kathi, Luke, and I all went roller skating at the rink there. I haven't roller skated in five years, but got the feel of it after a few times around the rink. I only came close to falling once, but had to catch my balance three times during the almost fall. I forgot how much of a workout skating is. It was fun. I had fun riding a few rides too. The Screaming Eagle is the best there. That's what I look forward to every year. I can't go and not ride it at least once. This year I rode it twice with kids and once when Chris and I snuck away right before the fireworks. I can now say that I have watched fireworks in the sky upside down. It was a blast! and kind of an odd experience, but fun!

So, the last part of the evening was quite interesting. It was frustrating for about 45 minutes while we were sitting in the van not moving an inch out of the parking lot. Dan, Amy, and I were all tired and just wanted to get home. From past years, we know that we'll sit in the parking lot of a bit (except last year we got out in like 20 minutes), usually about a half an hour. But this year after the 45 minute mark I was getting really frustrated. Then we saw a fire truck and then about 10 minutes later we saw an ambulance. Come to find out, there was a pregnant lady in the middle of the park in labor. After I heard that I wasn't as frustrated anymore. Though I was still a tad frustrated due to tiredness.

Overall the r4th of July was a good ol' time. Love BBQ, good rides, and best of all good friends.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

13 Hours at the Park

Sunday was the dragon boat races and it was exhausting. I was up and working by 6 am and spent 13 hours at the park in the heat. The first race started 40 minutes late, the second was 10 minutes late, and the final race was about an hour late if not more. In the final race one of our boats placed 2nd and the other placed 4th (there were only 4 high school teams). So then we had to stay for the awards ceremony, though we knew at least one of our teams would place, thus we didn't get home until after 9pm last night. Overall it was a good day, just exhausting. After work Chris and I went up the street for a few beers. We definitely deserved it. We had a really good talk to.

I did run into a girl who I went to high school with at the race, which was exciting. She is the team caption for her team and said anyone is welcome to paddle, so who knows what team I'll end up on. My coach for the team I was on offered for me to be on the new team she is coaching too. I don't know who I'll paddle with, I think it depends on when practices are and what is more convenient for me.

That's all for now.

Oh, forgot one of the best, well maybe best is not the most operative word, part of the day. Dan (a friend of mine who is working for us this summer) got one of the kids to lick my foot in order to get free Subway! It all started with the student looking at my dirty feet and it escalated from there, but he actually did it. It's crazy that one of my students licked my foot!


Saturday, June 28, 2008

End of Week 2

It's hot, I'm bored and it's the end of week two. The kids had a good first week of work. We had dragon boat practice twice this week and the kiddos seemed to really like it. We are teaming up with another high school team for the dragon boat races tomorrow at the Beat Festival. The kids will be racing three times. It is really impressive to me that the high school team teaming up with us is willing to sacrifice a championship in order to paddle mixed in with our kids. There is a high possibility we may get a place because there are only four other teams in the high school division. We'll see how we do tomorrow.

Watching the kids paddle made me a little envious. It wasn't that I wanted to paddle with them, I just wanted to paddle. I ran into my coach for Lethally Blind and she told me I should paddle with a new group who has just started to learn how to paddle. They practice on Monday and Thursday nights at 6pm, which could be fisable after SWEP is over. Sue told me I should do it at least once a week to keep it up and I should not stop since I am such a natural. That made me feel good. Paddling is a lot of hard work, but I do enjoy it once I'm back on shore.

Let's see what else has happened . . . oh we had a student go home already. He had some personal/medical issues to deal with. I think if his mother would have pushed him a little he would have tried to stay. Her comment was, I'm surprised he made it this long. What a way to set you kid up for failure.

Next week shall be exciting. It's a short week due to the fourth of July. The kids work Monday through Thursday and then on Friday we spend the day at Oaks Park. My twin is planning on joining us this year, which will be fun. Now I am reminded we have to go to Costo to shop for the 4th for all of the food for the BBQ. Yum!

Ok, that's all for now. My lap is getting hot from my laptop.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Day 4 Blog

Here it is only day four and it seems like a heck of a lot longer than that. It's been good though. We have a few trouble makers and two who are clinging onto each other (even though one has a boyfriend). Well see how that fiasco goes. I did have to tell them to split up a little because they were almost sitting on each other. Overall though it still looks like a good group.

Today and tomorrow have been/will be Orientation and Mobility (O&M) and shopping days. The last three days students have made dinners for the whole group with their team. Tonights team was the most interesting night, but sadly I missed the whole hells kitchen bit because I was in the girls dorm hanging out with Jack. Actually, I'm not really that sad, but I glad I didn't have to deal with it. I have dealt with immaturity issues including anger, name calling and tattling. I'm sure I'll have more interesting stories in the future. It is only coming to the close of week one. I do have to say that I feel a bit better after a few beers up the street. Now I am going to bed so that I get up for work at 7am. Ah, the life of a dorm counselor . . . .

Sunday, June 15, 2008

SWEP Has Begun

SWEP actually started about a month ago for me. I've been doing all the prep stuff for the summer. I officially began work on Friday as I met with my boss and then the movers 3.5 hours later when they finally showed up. Of course since I rely on Tri-Met I had to stick around here which then messed up my whole schedule for the day. It didn't help that the movers were in crappy moods either. I was a bigger person though and tried to be cheerful for them even though they had screwed up my day plan.. After the movers were done (at 5:30pm) I went home and packed in a rush so I could be here when McCall, Chris, Jordon, and guess who - Jack got here. The main reason I made it through my day was the thought of seeing Jack near the end.

Well, today went well. Today was sign-in day. This year we have 15 students, which isn't a bad number. We'll see how many we end up with at the end of the summer. Maybe this year will be year number two for not having to kick anyone out. We almost made it last year, but no. This year is quite interesting because we are in two houses instead of one dorm. I've been telling myself that we'll make it work, which we will, but it sucks. The main reason why it sucks is because we (staff) can't hang out. We have to have a staff in each dorm at all times. I think after next week we may get more lenient, but we have another student coming next week who we know we need to keep an eye on. She likes to hang on the boys a little much at times. So really, we probably won't get to hang out much. BUT we do have these cool fun walkies to chat back and fourth on instead of just using our phones. Chris even went down to 711 and still had signal to the house!

Ok, well it's 10:30 and I need to start doing my job and reminding them of the time so they'll all be in bed at 11pm. Plus, my butt is getting sore from this hard chair, not that you really needed to know that.

Look for more updates. I'll probably be better this year since I'll be the only staff in a house at a time for most of my shifts.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Welcome!

Welcome to my personal blog space! If you got the address than you should feel privileged because . . . well you just should. I am going to keep this blog a general blog about life and such, and my other blog is my teaching experience blog. I have not only created these blogs to write my thoughts down, but so that those who do not have MySpace can read my blogs. In fact I'm switching my blogging from MySpace to my new blog space.

In some news, I had my post-op today. It was supposed to be yesterday but my doctor got backed up in surgery. I was a tad annoyed the office didn't call me until about 45 minutes before I was supposed to be there as I was almost downtown. Oh well, I got in today, and I'm doing well. The doc said the pain is still normal for all of the work that was done and it may last for another month or so. Yuck. Ouch. But at least all that crap is out of me and once I heal up I should be grand; hopefully.

In exciting news, SWEP staff is now set and McCall is working on the schedule. (Thanks hun!) Though we still have 25 kids as of the moment.

That is all for now. The start of my student teaching blog will be coming soon. What an experience.